I love a good story! I love to see how characters develop and the storylines emerge. The best stories are the ones in which the ending can’t be predicted early on. Unexpected twists and turns not only make for a good story, they tell us something about real life. And the best stories tell us something about ourselves.
I have especially enjoyed Downton Abbey. I stumbled on the show somewhere past the third season. As I watched the first two seasons, I didn’t realize how popular the show was. More friends than I would have guessed were also watching. As the final season now airs, I have to confess, I’ve started watching the series over again from the beginning. Why? Because, while the story was good the first time, I find it even better the second. I know the characters better. This time through I’m not surprised by events, but I do see the subtleties that motivate the characters and how events in an early season set the stage for later seasons.
Good stories aren’t just the realm of storybooks and storytellers. Each of us is a living story authored by God. While we cannot live our lives over in the same way we can re-watch a good movie, we can look retrospectively at our lives. In doing so, we can learn lessons, see subtleties not initially evident, appreciate areas that have been redeemed and gain understanding of the overarching theme in our lives.
Each of us is a living story authored by God. Click To Tweet
We Cannot Live In Isolation
I was surprised as I looked down the Downton Abbey cast list[i] at the number of people who appeared in the show. Some are main characters who appear in every season and just about every episode. Others are recurring characters for a season or two. Still others are guests who appear in only an episode or two.
Likewise, we cannot live in isolation. Looking back on our own stories reveals main characters (parents, siblings, spouses, children), recurring characters (friends, co-workers, teachers, pastors, boyfriends/girlfriends), and guests (the kids swim teacher, a visiting pastor). People can move from one category to another as their role in our lives changes.
Knowing the role people play in our lives allows us to properly value their input and appreciate their presence. A word of wisdom from a guest may impact our life markedly. And knowing the old boyfriend or girlfriend we ran into is no longer a main character helps us keep our focus where it should be – perhaps on a spouse or not falling back into bad habits.
Because life is not lived in isolation, we also play all three roles in the lives of others. Rightly evaluating the role we play in other people’s lives may protect us from feeling jealous or hurt when we don’t get much of their time if and when we realize we are only guests in their story. On the other hand, if we understand we are a main character in a lonely neighbor’s life, it may prompt us to include him or her in more of our family activities and celebrations.
Conflict Is Always Part of the Story
A good story always has conflict – perhaps because conflict is such a regular part of life. Conflicts can drive the story (Robert’s ultimate goal of preserving Downton Abbey and passing it intact to the succeeding generations), develop character (Lady Mary season 1 vs. season 6), and give meaning to the character’s lives (Matthew). Conflict can even add humor to our lives. The Dowager Lady Crawley’s quick wit is almost always in response to some sort of conflict.
Conflict in our lives plays similar roles. By looking back at our life’s events, we can see how conflict has shaped us, when it has driven our actions, and how it has given meaning to our lives. We can also learn from conflict: how to respond better next time, be more active and less passive, as well as stand up for what we believe in the face of false accusation or overwhelming trials. Just as Lady Mary, John and Anna Bates and even Thomas Barrow were better people at the end of the story than the beginning, so we can be as we face the conflicts in our lives.
In the story of our lives, there is one prevailing conflict: good vs. evil. God has written a final episode that includes the triumph of good over evil and an eternity with Him. Yet he also gives us the opportunity to choose His ending or write our own. There is an evil one who desperately wants us to write our own ending. His whisperings and nudgings tempt us to go it alone, but never with the promised outcome. The two endings are dramatically different and mutually exclusive. Only we can choose which will be the ending of our stories.
Redemption
Perhaps one of the most healing results of looking back at our stories is seeing the places that have been redeemed. In Downton Abbey, Lord Grantham’s inappropriate affections for a housemaid are quickly redeemed when he is able to extend grace and compassion to his daughter after learning of her own indiscretion. He states she is not the first Crawley to make a mistake.
Looking back over the story of our lives lets us piece together events we might otherwise miss. I remember one incident during my early twenties when I was overcome by despair. While I can’t remember what drove me to such depths, I do remember being in a roomful of people and no one offering any comfort. Years later I was in another roomful of people when I noticed a young lady sitting in a corner on the floor. She was clearly distraught over something. It would have been easy to ignore the woman and let her deal with her suffering. Many others seemed to be doing just that. But my own experience of needing comfort led me to go to young lady. I don’t know what overwhelmed her so much, but I think I was able to offer some measure of comfort. She eventually left feeling somewhat better. I left knowing God had redeemed my own hurtful experience.
Good stories are intentionally written. Only when we are intentional about reviewing our stories can we see the bigger picture. And that bigger picture allows us to appreciate the significance of the story God is authoring.
Only when we review our stories can we see the significance of the story God is authoring. Click To Tweet
[i] www.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Downton_Abbey_characters